Brain Food #789: When fear gets in the way of living
What are you afraid of?
Thoughts of the day
Some of the ‘negative’ emotions we feel, such as fear, anger, envy, can be useful in their own ways. In the spirit of Halloween, a day dedicated to being spooked, a closer look at fear feels timely.
I find that fear is often related to love. Fear can be a reminder of how fortunate we are, of what we have that we cannot afford to lose, like someone we care for, or the safety of a home, or life itself.
But our fears, when they take over, can get in the way of living, especially when it comes to more irrational fears such as fear of failure, fear of ridicule, or fear of judgment. Fear can discreetly, dangerously lead to inaction.
American entrepreneur Tim Ferriss famously does a fear-setting exercise on a quarterly basis, choosing to define his fears instead of his goals, since these can offer a glimpse of our true desires, while forcing us to imagine the worst possible scenario. After defining one’s fears, the next step is to consider two other areas: prevention and repair. How do we prevent this horrible thing from happening and, if it does happen, what can we do to repair its damage?
By identifying our fears, we can face the ones that hold us back. Usually, things are not as horrific as we think. As Stoic philosopher Seneca said, “We suffer more in imagination than in reality.”
And for the fears that are worth our time? We should, perhaps, also let them guide us. The fear of losing someone we love (the number one rational fear across surveys) can perhaps be the nudge we need to spend more meaningful time with them.
Artists of all kinds, from painters to filmmakers, often depict their (and also, since the human condition is largely universal, our) biggest fears, making the fear of the unknown known. This visualisation of the worst possible scenario acts in an almost therapeutic way. By literally looking fear in the face, we can now get it over and done with, and move on. After all, the only thing to fear is fear itself.
Fear is a topic I return to often, here is a selection of previous posts if you have some time to spare today:
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