Brain Food #777: Procrastination projects
When time is removed, diaries turn to fiction
Thoughts of the day
Publishing one’s diaries is one of the most intimate, vulnerable things one can do. For some, this happens unknowingly, only after their death, sometimes with the permission of a family member.
In Alphabetical Diaries, writer Sheila Heti did this proactively, but hid her traces.
In what she described as a ‘procrastination project’, she imported her diaries into Excel, sorted them in alphabetical order, and searched for themes and repetitions. She then altered names and episodes, selected what should be left in or discarded, and decided to make the diaries public.
Procrastination is often seen as the enemy of productivity, but it is refreshing to see how procrastination projects can sometimes take on a life of their own, how a diary can become an unfolding mystery, even a work of fiction, when time is removed, and how something that already existed can turn into something completely new when looked at in a different way.
Diaries in particular contain certain dimensions of truth that cannot be found elsewhere, because they are not meant for an external audience. As Heti said, “I always enjoy working with writing that I didn’t initially intend to be read, because writing that is written without an audience in mind has a kind of freshness, an honesty or purity; an unselfconsciousness.” To write for no one is to create for oneself.
Excerpt from ‘A Diary in Alphabetical Order,’ Heti’s column in The New York Times:
“Just sitting here. Just sort of be here, even though I don’t necessarily understand why. Just talked to Dad. Just talked to Priya. Just talked to Rose. Just to enjoy this feeling of having accomplished something that was so incredibly difficult to do. Just to have a serious and deep and beautiful life with the man I love the most. Just to have that kind of happiness. Just to keep up with people’s lives now and then. Just to look at what they’re wearing. Just write a novel. Just write the truth from your feelings. Just write the truth.”
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